Hi everyone! Here’s Part 2 of the Interview feature in our “contentment” series. Continue reading to see the thoughts that were shared on love and marriage, and being content in the waiting.
3) Earlier on you mentioned that ‘If you want God to laugh, make a plan’ … I’ve noticed that a lot of times, dissatisfaction or discontentment stems from your plans not working out. There you can see the direct link. But there’s also situations where there’s just voids we as human beings try to fill and cant even pinpoint what it is. Have you had this experience before and how did that work out for you?
O*: Of course, I mean, the void I’ve felt in my life is an obvious one- I would like to be married. I feel like the void stems from Biblical requirements – the Bible point blank tells us ‘it is not good for man to be alone let us make a helper suitable for him’. You don’t feel complete until you are with that person who you are supposed to be helping, that’s what I believe. I would wake up crying, I would wake up feeling empty/deeply unhappy because of the lack of someone. As with many things in life there are things that money cannot do for you. Someone being there, to hold your hand through it all… you cant pay for that. I mean, the Lord is there for you but if the Lord thought that it is not good for man to be alone, then being alone is a void in itself. It makes way for a lot of stupidity to happen if you don’t guard yourself. It takes the grace of God to be alone because that’s when people try silly things. You do things that you never thought. It is what it is.
So, in those types of situations that’s a void that I’ve felt. You went further in your question to ask if there’s been any situation where we receive the thing but it still did not fulfill that lack. When I first moved back to Nigeria I couldn’t find a job and I always thought I need a job more than a man. I’ve gotten jobs now and am I spectacularly happy? No , I still want to be married. Also There’s been situations where I’m like oh my ideal weight is this and I’ve sometimes reached that but at the back of my mind still want to be married so yes I still feel a void in that instance though I have reached a goal I was clamoring for. I know that even when one settles down and marries, there could still be challenges of dissatisfaction I mean, one could still be unhappy based on the naughty or unsatisfactory behavioral pattern that I have seen men exhibit however I feel that would not be a void rather it would be a dissatisfaction.
4) Has there been a point that something has taken that feeling of wanting to be married away?:
O: I was made to be married (I believe that) – it won’t go away. However I know, as with every stage in life there’s always something. Even in primary school everyone’s big desire was to pass common entrance and get into secondary school. Then you get to form1 in secondary school and you start again from zero, and then its – I need to get into university. That’s what being alive is, ‘I guess’? there are several stages and several goals. Everyone has a worry that’s forefront in their mind. What I know for a fact is this – when I was younger (there’s this scripture that says ‘the peace of God that passeth all understanding’) everyone would be running around trying to hand in course work and even if I hadn’t handed mine in, it didn’t phase me.
I really don’t know what other people might have or suffer from– some people may be sick , how do you forget that. Some people may be in debt or need money their creditors wont let them forget it. I guess you could be at peace with it with the knowledge that God will heal or provide. It’s not like its deleted from your mind.
I guess if you have your eyes fixed on Jesus and all he is to you then that peace will reign in your heart.
O: Yes, a Scripture says seek God first and everything else will be added to you. And we are human. Things will eat at you but it takes the grace of God and a mind that looks beyond the obvious to be able to shake it off. That’s what I aspire for. I have seen things that the Lord has done and it has put me in awe. I told you about my aunty who gave birth to three kids at 51. No matter what you say now, this lady has three kids, you know? It just takes the grace of God to be able to be able to find peace within yourself till that time. Instead of driving yourself crazy.
5) Thank you so much for that. I’ll close off one last question- what do you enjoy about a relationship with God?:
O: It is the peace that comes from knowing that somebody has your back. You can’t think of everything… you can’t. I usually tell people this story- there was this knight that was going on a quest and he was like, because I’ll meet the ferocious dragon in ‘whatever land’, I’ll take my trustee sword. Because I’ll meet ferocious enemies of ‘wherever place’, I’ll take my trusted shield so that I can travel a get there on time I will take my trusted horse that travel at that travels faster than any living creature He did all these things, he had his armor, he had he’s trustee sword, he had his trustee horse, he had his shield, he had everything ready for this quest and then he embarked on the journey.
During the journey he came across a rope bridge which was built over a river and because of all the things he had on him including his horse he was too heavy. So, the bridge gave way and he sank into the river. Now for me this says that he thought of everything but he wasn’t ready for what really happened.
There is nothing like God. The things you do not catch even if you overthink or over analyse only God will catch it by His mercy and grace. Right now we live in Abuja, we are here for law school- we’re scared of the bombings but there are places where you haven’t heard of any kind of violence or war and people die everyday from things like a car hitting them. The fact that the perils of the day do not catch us does not mean we are better than anyone else. 5 people could pass the same path and the 6th person passes and falls into a hole. That is what the love of God, the knowledge of God, the favour of God, the mercy of God means to me. Things I can’t even fathom are there, but God gives me peace.
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*This Interview was anonymised for the sake of privacy